S5E1 - “Faceless, Nameless”
On the last season of Criminal Minds…
JJ has a bebe with Will/Bill. She goes on maternity leave and we meet Agent Todd, who everyone hates, because she is written terribly and given no chance to grow as a character, before JJ comes back. Garcia sabotages her boyfriend Kevin aka Zander Harris’ career opportunities. Rossi gets the feels when a very sexy unsub kills a wannabe profiler named Zoe. Reid briefly believes his father is a murdering pedophile, but then realizes that his father just covered up the murder of a murdering pedophile. Prentis’ childhood comes back to haunt her. Morgan still has not received an apology from the rest of the team regarding the fact that they briefly thought he was a serial killer, but he does learn about ‘bos. Two different unsubs murder people in and around vehicles. We meet our youngest unsub ever, and then an even younger unsub. Both Jasper Cullen and George Costanza play unsubs in two different episodes, but in a weird twist George Costanza also DIRECTS the Jasper Cullen episode. Hotch is called a whore and then tangos with the Reaper, a Zodiac-esq unsub who eluded police capture and then rounds out the season by mcfreaking shooting Hotch.
We open in Virginia. We open hearing audio of a police dispatcher. We hear: “All units in the vicinity of North Harney Boulevard. Shots fired at 751 North Harney.” Cut to the North Harney crime scene, we see Prentis, Morgan and Rossi already on the scene. We learn that the events we are seeing now are happening mere hours after the season 4 finale in Canada with the Mason brothers. In our heads we’re like, oh damn, is the BAU being called to the crime scene where the Reaper just mcfreaking toasted SSA Aaron Hotchner?
Psych! The BAU has no idea that their leader is in immortal peril. They think he’s just sleeping in, as they have all just returned from Canadia. Prentis, Morgan and Rossi walk up the stairs and into an apartment where they meet with Detective Walker, who JJ introduces to us as if we have already met him, but we have not, it looks like this is the first episode his character has appeared in. She’s like “You guys remember Detective Walker” and I’m like “No I do not, and I have strategically paid close attention to 90 episodes so far, so I’m pretty sure I would remember him if I’d seen his sexy ass before.”
Anyhoo, Detective Walker shows the BAU the body of a deceased man named Nelson Martinez, who was shot in his apartment at close gunpoint. The BAU is still like, bro, why did you call us here, we are tired because we just came from Canada. And Detective Walker says: “2 days ago a local doctor named Tom Barton found a note addressed to him at a hospital. It said the person was planning to kill his son. If Dr. Barton tried to keep his boy hidden, one person would die every day in his place.” This note is signed by the unsub with the initials LC. Detective Walker tells the BAU a victim was killed yesterday with the initials LC written on the ground next to him, and Nelson Martinez has the same initials written next to him. The BAU discusses why Hotch is not at this crime scene, and Prentis suggests he may just be sleeping with his phone off. She tries to call him again and the phone goes straight to voicemail, and she leaves him a message. At this time, they are not concerned about his absence. The vibe is very, oh good for him, sleeping in! FAM! Do they not know him at all? Have they forgotten about the time he took 1 solitary day off to talk to his son about his divorce? The man hasn’t taken a vacation since Fisher King!
Cut to McClain Virginia. We meet Dr. Tom Barton in his house. He’s actually a trauma surgeon in DC. We learn that Dr. Barton is a single father, and he has tried to shield his son 15-year old son Jeffrey from most of the pertinent information regarding the case, but has kept him home from school for the day. The BAU stresses that this is obviously a personal attack on Doctor Barton, but Doctor Barton doesn’t know anyone with the initials LC. Just then Dr. Barton gets a phone call, and it’s his son Jeffrey on the phone. Jeffrey overheard his conversation with the BAU and snuck out of the house. Jeffrey calls Dr. Barton to tell him that he has gone to school because he doesn’t want anyone else to be killed.
Back at this house, Dr. Barton tries to get in to his car to drive off after Jeffrey, but the BAU talks him out of it. They tell him that they can set up police around the school, and that they will personally go to the school to watch over Jeffrey. Cut to Reid, this is the first we’re seeing him, but whatever. Reid and Prentis post up at Dr. Barton’s house, and they and Dr. Barton start to go through all his medical files. Meanwhile, at the school Rossi, Morgan and JJ talk to the principle of the school about the measures they’re going to put in place to take care of Jeffrey. They’re extra cautious to keep everything as hush hush as possible to avoid panic.
The main issue is that the BAU is looking for a motive. Back at the Barton residence, Reid and Prentis give Barton the profile?
PROFILE
Unsub is a man based off the writing
Women tend to add adjectives and very specific details to their notes, and this note has none of those
Males are also more direct
And their notes tend to be more about themselves than the person they’re writing to (“I have watched you every day” “I will watch you lose everything”
He’s surveilled Dr. Barton and Jeffrey so he either has enough money to be away from a regular job, or he’s currently unemployed
He’s most likely a father
He’s clearly grieving – he’s taken great measures to make sure that Dr. Barton is feeling his pain
Just because Dr. Barton’s son is 15, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the unsub’s deceased loved one is Jeffrey’s same age
Furthermore, Reid says that normally these sorts of unsubs escalate to a suicide by cop incident.
Dr. Barton gets upset and tells the BAU that there are way too many patient files to look through, there’s not enough time to narrow them down. He says that because of his job, being a surgeon in the emergency room, so many people die and so many families are upset, that he can’t recall a specific incident where someone extra stood out. Prentis suggests going to Hotch’s apartment, as he still has not turned up, suggesting that he might be able to add some feedback that she and Reid are missing. Reid agrees that this is the best thing to do. So Prentis goes to Hotch’s apartment, calls him, hears his phone ringing, breaks the door down, and finds blood on the floor and Hotch MIA. The team finally knows that he is missing!
Prentis calls Garcia and sounds the alarm. She tells Garcia that Hotch’s car is still parked out front of his apartment, so Hotch has been kidnapped. She tells Garcia to release an APB and call in local police, but specifically tells Garcia that she cannot tell the rest of the team, because they’re working the Dr. Barton case, and they’ll be distracted if they hear Hotch is missing. However, Prentis has to tell Reid, because he’s expecting her back at Dr. Barton’s house.
Prentis calls Reid and tells him that Hotch is missing. However, Dr. Barton sees Reid on the phone and gets upset, and says: “we only have 3 hours left- what can be more important than my son?” Reid then has to tell Dr. Barton that Prentis has been called away “on an emergency” and Dr. Barton is like “you’ve got to be kidding”. Reid and Dr. Barton further narrow down the profile while looking at his patient files. Reid focuses on the element of choice, only looking at dates where Dr. Barton was operating on two patients at the same time. He further narrows it down to specifically, one patient is a Hispanic male, and the other patient died on the operating table. Then narrowing it down to patients under twenty, leaving six cases to look through.
Meanwhile, at the school- Rossi, Morgan and Prentis work on evacuation procedures for the students. Morgan checks in with Garcia to see if she was able to find any connections with school employees and Dr. Barton. She tells him no, there are no felonies or other connections. Morgan notices that Garcia is not her usual chipper self, but Garcia just tells him that she’s tired. Meanwhile Garcia calls local area hospitals trying to find Hotch. Garcia calls Saint Sebastian’s Hospital, and they tell her that FBI Agent Derek Morgan dropped a John Doe off earlier in the day. Garcia calls Prentis to discuss, and Prentis realizes that George Foyet aka Pony Boy aka The Reaper must’ve been the one to kidnap Hotch, as he had previously stolen Morgan’s FBI credentials.
Back at Dr. Barton’s house, Reid and Dr. Barton are still struggling to pinpoint a specific case. Reid asks Dr. Barton to look over the charts of the six cases they’ve identified, to see if any of the wording on the charts matches he wording the unsub used. He says: “A lot of times an unsub will unconsciously mirror the wording of situations.” Dr. Barton then has a flashback and remembers operating on a Hector Ledezma who was in a car accident on January 3rd of that year, right after New Years. Ledezma survived, but the driver of the other car, Jason Meyers, was not so lucky. Following the accident, Meyers was on a ventilator, but had no brain activity. Dr. Barton never even operated on him, because there was nothing that could be done to save him. Garcia looks further into Jason Meyers, and finds out that he was declared legally dead and taken off life support three days previous. The unsub is Jason’s father- Patrick Meyers. However, it’s unclear how the whole “LC” initials still fit into this situation. Stay tuned.
Cut to Prentis at Saint Sebastian the hospital. Hotch is alive, but he was stabbed eight times and is lucky to be alive. Cut back to Dr. Barton’s house, he tells Reid that he always picks Jeffrey up from school, so they prepare to head to the school. Meanwhile, Prentis looks over Hotch’s chart, she notices the initials “LC” on it. She asks a nurse what “LC” stands for, and the nurse says that it means “living children”. It’s administrative, meaning, when a patient goes on life support and there’s no DNR order, the victim’s relatives have to be contacted. Prentis calls Reid to tell him this, but Dr. Barton is already out the door.
Patrick Meyers is waiting outside, and he shoots at Dr. Barton, but Reid jumps in front of Dr. Barton, and is shot in the leg. Patrick Meyers approaches Reid threatening him with a gun, and Reid tells him to drop the gun, and tells him that Dr. Barton did not kill his son. Patrick Meyers seems like he’s starting to listen, and he lowers his gun. But then he hears cop sirens in the distance, so he acts like he’s about to shoot Reid, and Reid has to shoot him. Reid then tells Dr. Barton to help Patrick Meyer instead of helping him. Patrick Meyer is rushed to the hospital, and the BAU team shows up at Dr. Barton’s house, and they’ve got Jeffrey with them. So Jeffrey and Dr. Barton unite, and they have a nice moment that is completely overshadowed by the fact that Reid tells the rest of the team about Hotch.
Cut to the hospital. The BAU is glad Ponyboy brought Hotch to the ER, but they’re confused as to why Ponyboy brought Hotch to the ER. There’s security footage of Foyet dropping Hotch off outside the ER, but no footage showing which direction he took of in when he left. Hotch wakes up and asks the BAU what Foyet took, reminding us all that Foyet always takes something from his victims, and always leaves something from the previous victim. Prentis tells Hotch that the only thing that she noticed missing was a page from his address book under the Bs. Hotch then tells the BAU that Hayley’s maiden is Brooks.
Hayley- remember her? Hotch’s estranged wife? Yeah, I forgot about her too. Anyhoo, Foyet knows where Hayley lives. The BAU (minus Hotch and Prentis) rush to Hayley’s address.
Back at the hospital Hotch has a flashback about his confrontation with Foyet at Hotch’s apartment. Foyet kept asking Hotch about his profile. Foyet then pulled out a big ass knife and is like “is this part of my profile?” and stabbed Hotch. While Hotch is having this flashback, his hospital monitors are like beep boop beep and Prentis calls a doctor in. Hotch is stabilized, but the doctors are concerned about him.
We then get a flashback of Foyet bragging to Hotch that he is a stabbing expert? He then asks Hotch if Hotch wants to see his scars and my man GETS UNDRESSED and STANDS OVER HOTCH AND POSES AND THEN CLIMBS ON TOP OF HOTCH in a SLIGHTLY HOMO EROTIC SCENE WHERE FOYET THEN ASKS HOTCH IF HE LIKES HIS SCARS!!I Foyet is like whispering and I know it’s supposed to be a scary scene, but like, this is so sexual? They are lovers? There is moaning and groaning and like… idk fam…
Meanwhile, Hayley Hotchner is folding laundry and listening to music in headphones. Which like, is a very weird thing to do if you’re alone in your house? The BAU busts into the room, nearly giving her a heart attack. The BAU search the house, but Foyet isn’t there. Morgan then goes to pick up Jack from a friend’s house. The BAU are going to have to relocate Hayley and Jack for their own safety, they’re actually going to have to go into witness protection.
Hayley and Jack go to the hospital where Hotch is recuperating to say goodbye. Hayley is so upset. Hotch apologizes and says: “We will catch him and you will come back. And I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you.” Hayley then asks Hotch if he’s going to be safe and Hotch says: “He wants to make me suffer. Knowing that my son is out there and I can’t see him is better than killing me.” Oh really bro? And when was the last time you actually did see your son???? Hayley says: “How am I supposed to keep Jack safe if there is no one I know to help me.” And Hotch tells her that she’s got this because she basically raised Jack by herself.
Hayley then tells Hotch that Jack wants to come in and Hotch is like, naw, I’m good. And Hayley is like, he’s YOUR SON. So Hotch is like, okay I guess. So Jack says goodbye to Hotch and I’m sorry for being so critical but this child actor is SO BAD. This dramatic exchange is so bad. It just doesn’t feel genuine to me, idk.
Anyways, Reid is fine, but he’s gonna have to be on crutches. I think Goobs was actually on crutches irl during the filming of this episode?
Rating Criteria:
Criminal/Serial Killer: 13/20
Character development/ character arcs: 20/20
Forensics/Context: 20/20
Script writing: 10/20
Background characters: 12/20
Overall: 75/100