Arthur is listening to the police scanner while tying up Ramona and hears the missing person call for her. He immediately calls Elias is like, “wtf bro you gave me damaged goods”.

He’s meant to be around seventeen or eighteen, but it’s literally Zach Gilford in a long t-shirt and badly gelled hair. Like… the man can act… but he’s forty years old. You can’t erase twenty years by dressing him silly.

Tying the knot will guarantee me front-row seats to the movie of your life. Don’t you want someone to change your diapers when you get old?

Don Sanderson is like, “I didn’t do it,” and Morgan is like, “YES YOU DID! And now that’s on me. I put a psychotic killer back on the streets”.

 Ruiz has created a cursory profile – apparently, he took an FBI Seminar on Serial Crime in Albuquerque – twice!

We also see Wendell Bray from Bones? He’s the second in command? And I’m like??? He’s not an unsub. He’s a sweet boy! That’s Wendell Bray from Bones wearing eyeshadow to show that he’s edgy.

In Detroit, Devil’s Night has masks, costumes, and chaos. As they say in the show, think of mardi gras, but like, with vandalism and arson.

As the police officers finally escort the perp away, he turns to Nancy and goes: “Will I have to sleep in the same prison cell as him?” And Amber, coming in clutch, turns to her mom and goes: “If I take a bus to Uncle David’s and get lost, will I have to sleep in jail too?”

Two radically different MOs. and we have no idea how he controlled both of the couples. Additionally, they found evidence of handcuffs! Most shockingly, they found a used condom in both cases, and Viagra in the system of both husbands – even though neither of them had a prescription.

Sam is like “Fuck Jenny, she probably just wants to talk about a new dress she wants. Let’s go see some football.” We hear the voicemail message, and it turns out it is Jenny. And she has some alarming things to say.

JJ’s like “I’m not a hostage negotiator, actually I’ve never done anything like this at all” and I’m like GIRL SHUT UP. She’s like “you can tell I’m not a hostage negotiator” actually girl I didn’t until you kept BRINGING IT UP!

And then she says to herself: “Right, ‘cause the homicidal maniac hiding in the shadows is really going to answer you.”

The dispatcher tells him he needs to stay on the line, and asks if he is sure the victim is dead, to which he says “he will be” lol.  We then hear a gunshot and see the officers rolling up to the location he had described. 

Hotch, Rossi and JJ call out to Deputy Boyd on the police radio and Hotch threatens him, and Boyd is like “You think you can find me? Come on out, it’s my desert.” And Rossi is like “Cocky little bastard”.

And then there is also “Mick Rawson, Supervisory Special Agent”. His main thing is that he’s British. But don’t worry guys, there is also a woman: Gina LaSalle

We open on a dramatic monologue. There’s a man standing outside in the rain, watching a little girl named Jody being put to sleep.

he little girl is not hurrying fast enough so the dad picks her up and is like “What is Mommy feeding you?” and the mother goes “Great, way to give our daughter a weight complex!”

We now get a shot of a woman leaving a dry cleaner at night, and there is another woman a few parking spots away struggling with putting a wheelchair in her large van.

So it is likely that these women represent something – or someone – the unsub knows. So the team needs to figure out where this unsub is meeting these women, and how is he is gaining access to their homes.

Next up is Prentiss and I really just need to say that she is so hot. Like she does not need to be looking that good in an episode like this cuz i feel like an asshole for being horny when Hotch’s family is about to get killed.