We open and we’re listen to “Moneygrabber” by Fitz and The Tantrums. I watched the entire music video to prepare for this episode. Guys- the song slaps. The video is sick. 10/10. As we’re hearing the song (which again- slaps) we see footage of what’s going on, interspliced with scenes from the “Moneygrabber” music video, which is like, shot in exclusively blue and red.

There’s an unsub in a hooded sweatshirt, flipping through channels on a television screen, until he finds “Moneygrabber” and he’s like – oh yeah, this is the song for me. He’s in a house, and he’s tied up the homeowners upstairs. There’s a husband and wife and the wife is struggling to find something to get free. Her husband starts yelling for “Sammy” and “Kayla”, and we realize that the kids are like, dead in the next room. The unsub takes out a knife and starts coming upstairs and we’re hearing “Moneygrabber” and the husband starts yelling at the unsub and being like “get away from my WIFE!” and the unsub just starts wailing on him. And the wife is screaming and we’re watching Fitz do his thing.

Cut to BAU Headquarters in Quantico VA. We learn about the Bennett family (mama and papa Bennett being the couple we just saw murdered in their home in Iowa). The entire family was brutally murdered. We also learn about the Archer family who was murdered in Nebraska. In the cases of both the Bennetts and the Archers- the children were strangled, the fathers were stabbed, and the mothers died from blunt-force trauma. Jake Bennett was also disemboweled.

Just as the BAU is about to head off, Ellie Spicer shows up to see Morgan? My girl literally took a plane from LA. She stole her foster mother’s credit card, bought a ticket online, and made it through airport security. She tells Morgan that she does not want to go back and that the house she was placed in is terrible and Morgan is like “you’re a missing kid, you can’t stay here.” So Garcia is on child duty while the rest of the team heads off to find the family annihilator.

Cut to the BAU private jet. Rossi points out how there is no forced entry in any house, and the dinner tables were set for five people, not four. As if the unsub was invited in as a guest. Garcia also tells the team that the only common denominator with the Archers and the Bennetts is that both families were very active in their respective churches. My man Karl Arnold is brought up, of course.

Cut to Council Bluffs, Iowa. Reid and Rossi go to the Bennetts house. They discuss the order of the usnub’s kills. Rossi realizes that the children are used as bait to get the rest of the family and blitz attack them. Reid and Rossi puzzle over the fact that this strategy means that the unsub needs 10-15 minutes alone to tie up the children. And what family would leave a stranger alone with their children for 10-15 minutes?? Also, the Bennetts were having tacos, and there was a pot of beef and a pot of tofu. And Rossi is like- if the unsub forced the families to make dinner under duress, they would not have made vegetarian sides. Like, they would’ve just made the easiest dinner possible.

Cut to the Omaha field office. We meet the man with, the best name that we’ve had so far on Criminal Minds- FBI Agent Grady Beeks. Yep. As per IMDB, that is his name. Agent Grady Beeks. Agent Beeks tells Hotch and Prentis that the dissection on Jake Bennett was crude and done postmortem. Remember how each family annihilator focuses on one familial role to attack? Karl Arnold attacked the fathers, Miranda Dracar spent extra time with the daughters, and this unsub focuses his rage on the mothers. As they are the ones who are kept alive the longest, and forced to endure the psychological torture of having their families murdered in front of them.

Cut to – a man driving a pickup truck and singing Mike Posner. We realize that he is an off-duty priest, and he’s driving at night, singing Mike Posner. And he sees this like, young, teenage kid walking on the side of the road. And he pulls over and is like- hey, it’s dark, you shouldn’t be walking on the road like this and introduces himself as Reverend Hannum. The kid is like, I’m Jeremy. And Reverend Hannum is like- want a ride? And Jeremy is like- my mom says I can’t take rides from strangers. And Reverend Hannum is like- I’m cool, I’m listening to Mike Posner. And Jeremy is like- okay, I’ll get in!

Cut to- the next day, and the BAU pulls up on a crime scene. We learn that there was a victim found in the passenger seat, and that the unsub dissected his arm. And we’re like- oh no, not Jeremy! His mother specifically warned him about this! But PSYCHE. It’s Reverend Hannum.

There’s a great scene where Reid and Rossi discuss how the unsub has mood swings and ADD, and they’re like- oh – it’s a teenager. That’s why the families feel comfortable leaving him alone with their families.

Cut to- a rest station. Jeremy is sitting by himself on a picnic bench looking innocent. A woman pulls up with her kids. Her name is Nancy Riverton, she is a single mother of two, and the kids are named Amber and Zack. Not so much a spoiler, but just a general comment- all the best lines in this damn episode are for some, inexplicable reason given to Amber? She’s like, twelve, and has so much attitude.

I digress- Jeremy sees the Rivertons a mile away. He gets up and puts on this whole show of trying to get something from the vending machine, and then the vending machine isn’t working, and he’s looking all sad and pathetic. And we’re like- no Nancy, don’t fall for his tricks! But of course, Nancy is like- “Hey there. Do you need help?” And Jeremy tells her this story about going to visit his aunt in Chicago, and how the bus stranded him at the rest station, and how his mom is gonna flip out if he doesn’t get off the bus in Chicago tomorrow. And Nancy is like- I’ll take you to the police and they’ll help you find your mom. And Jeremy is like “really? Wow, tysm!”

PROFILE

This kid is streetwise, but clearly comfortable and easily accepted in a middle-class suburban home.
The BAU can’t diagnose anyone under the age of 18 with antisocial, so the BAU is labeling the unsub as a budding psychopath.
His interpersonal skills are through the roof. This manipulation is not just a ruse: it is a complex con.
Look for reports of missing children in and around the city of Omaha. This is where his killing spree originated.
- Check juvenile detention centers and psychiatric programs for boys who’ve been recently released or escaped.
The BAU believes he has crossed the state line into Iowa. His last victim was traveling northeast on route 6.
All his victims give him rides and places to stay. He appears extremely vulnerable. With him being a child alone out on the road- that’s not hard to do.

Cut to- Des Moines, Iowa. We’re pulling up to the Iowa PD. Nancy and co get out of the car, just as a perp is being man handled by a cop. This is a great scene. Instantly Nancy’s kids Amber and Zack are like, you can’t leave Jeremy here! Amber even goes “you’re letting him go to jail”. Jeremy is really acting his heart out. As the police officers finally escort the perp away, he turns to Nancy and goes: “Will I have to sleep in the same prison cell as him?” And Amber, coming in clutch, turns to her mom and goes: “If I take a bus to Uncle David’s and get lost, will I have to sleep in jail too?” And Nancy is like “Of course not! Jeremy won’t be sleeping here either. He’s staying with us tonight!”

Cut back to Omaha PD. Morgan talks to Garcia about the Ellie situation. Garcia tells Morgan that because Ellie crossed straight lines, her case is now federal, and she’s gotten the greenlight to keep Ellie in police custody while they try to figure out what next to do. Morgan is like- can we get Ellie transferred to Virginia? Apparently the foster family didn’t even realize Ellie was missing. The responsibility of taking care of Spicer’s daughter is WEIGHING on Morgan.

Reid tells Prentis and Agent Grady Beeks about how “safe haven law” where people can leave babies at hospitals and churches, has been abused in Nebraska, as they do not have a law specifying age limits on abandoning children. Meaning that you can just pop off and drop your seventeen-year-old son at a hospital if you decide you’re done parenting?? Apparently, people are dropping off teenage boys at hospitals on the regular? We learn there are 33 boys between the ages of 10-17 who have been abandoned at state hospitals and have recently become wards of the state. The act of abandonment means that the parents are unfit and automatically labels the child a ward of the state. Monica Archer was employed at Northern Omaha Medical. So possibly the unsub was abandoned there, and that’s where he met Monica.

Cut to- Nancy Riverton’s house. Jeremy is hanging with Amber and Zack. And Nancy is like- can you dial your mom so I can talk to her. Jeremy dials the Archer family’s number (I don’t know how he has it), and Nancy leaves a message being like “Hey, I’ve got your son. He’s safe. He’s at my house.” Also Jeremy has this moment where he dramatically watches Nancy slice a chicken. Later Nancy makes up a bed for Jeremy on the couch, and there’s this moment where he tells her to leave a light on.

Agent Grady Beeks, Rossi and Reid go back to the Archer house. Rossi instantly clocks the message from Nancy Riverton on the Archers voicemail. Rossi and Reid are like- that’s the unsub. Agent Beeks instantly gets on the horn and is like “I need an address for Nancy Riverton.” Quick cut to the Riverton house, and Prentis and Morgan find Amber and Zack tied up upstairs. Jeremy took Nancy and is ON THE LAMB!

Prentis interviews Zack and Morgan interviews my girl Amber. Amber tells Morgan that Jeremy woke up her and Zack in the middle of the night (the audacity) and went all Saw on them being like “I want to play a game.” Morgan is like “Can you tell me about this game?” And Amber looks right at Morgan and just goes- “It wasn’t a game. He just wanted to scare my mom!” Apparently Nancy saw her children tied up on the floor and was like “Jeremy, you haven’t done anything wrong. You’re perfect.”

Cut to Nancy driving in the car with Jeremy. She goes: “Do you want a soda or a burger? You must be starving?” Jeremy goes: “I’m not gonna fall for that. You’d leave me there.” Nancy goes “I wouldn’t do that. Your mother wouldn’t have left you. I’m sure she’s sorry.” And Jeremy goes: “She will be.”

Back with the BAU- apparently Jeremy told Monica Archer that his name was Niko Bellic. And Rossi informs us that “Niko Bellic is the name of a character in grand theft auto 4”. The BAU are unsure what Jeremy’s real name is, but they’re pretty confident he’s from Newton Iowa, so they try to follow up with leads. Morgan and Prentis drive to Newton Iowa, but they still don’t know who the unsub is. Garcia calls and they work together to try to sift through all the kids, and we learn that the unsub is Jeremy Sayer. He is thirteen, and his nine-year-old sister Carrie was brought to the hospital nine days ago with a spiral arm fracture.

In the car with Nancy, Jeremy tells Nancy that “Amber is hot” and that one night he’s gonna climb through her bedroom window when they’re all sleeping. And Nancy goes: “Or you could just ring the doorbell.” Nancy and Jeremy go back and forth in the car, and Jeremy is like “You think I’m a bad kid” and Nancy is like “I believe kids are born good”. Eventually Jeremy makes Nancy pull over and Jeremy stabs her and leaves her in the car to die.

He then gets out, steals a skateboard, and heads home. He breaks into his house and threatens his younger sister Carrie with a knife. Carrie is wearing a pink cast and it’s very cute. Meanwhile, Mrs. Sayer drives home and is talking to her mother in the driveway;. Prentis and Morgan call her again and again, but she keeps hanging up. Eventually she answers and at first she denies having a son. Then Prentis is like, you have a son, you and Carrie need to stay away from the house. But it’s too late, Jeremy is already inside. He’s holding a knife to Carrie’s throat.

Mrs. Sayer runs inside and she’s got the BAU on speaker. Jeremy tells his mother to “confess” and be forgiven. She’s like “I was pregnant with twins and one of them consumed the other” and Jeremy goes “I wasn’t even born yet and you already blamed me!” And Prentis and Morgan show up with guns. Morgan and Jeremy kind of do some verbal sparring. Jeremy goes “You wouldn’t shoot a kid” and Morgan goes “I would shoot a killer.”

Eventually Jeremy is taken into custody. And then he starts crying and begging his mother to help him. But it’s clear it’s a rouse. Morgan goes “settle down, your mother’s not coming” and Jeremy goes “Whatever. I’m thirteen. I’ll see her in five years.” And Morgan tells Jeremy that he will be at every single one of Jeremy’s parole hearings. And I’m like???

ALSO- Back at BAU headquarters, Garcia found Ellie’s mother! She’s wearing a lei and is like “I just got back to the states”. Apparently she had no idea that Spicer was killed. Morgan confronts Ellie’s mother about basically abandoning her daughter. And Ellie’s mother (literally credited as Ellie’s Mom in IMDB) and she’s like- I was unhappy in my marriage and Matt pushed me away. And I’m like – first of all, let’s not drag sexy detective spicer through the dirt like that. But then Ellie’s mother presents this book of letters that she has apparently written to Ellie every day, but never sent. And Ellie is like “who cares?” And Morgan goes “this book means that your mother never stopped thinking about you. Right now you have the chance to have a really good life with your mom. Just give it a try.” And Ellie does.

Oh god and the end quote is ROBERT FROST.

Rating Criteria:

Criminal/Serial Killer: 20/20

Character development/ character arcs: 20/20
Forensics/Context: 20/20
Script writing: 20/20
Background characters: 18/20

Overall: 100/100

S6E5 - “Safe Haven”

S6E6 - “Devil’s Night”

S6E4 - “Compromising Positions”