S5E21 - “Exit Wounds”

We open in Franklin Alaska on a fishing boat. We meet Brenda and Keith. Brenda is gutting fish for sale that they just purchased, and wants to finish up. Keith offers to stay with her, but she declines and tells him to go home to his kids. Shortly thereafter Brenda is packing up the fish coolers, and she overhears sounds. And she’s like “Is anyone there?” and then she says to herself “Right, ‘cause the homicidal maniac hiding in the shadows is really going to answer you.”

She then walks off with the cooler, preparing to go home. She thinks Keith might be the one making the sounds, but it’s not Keith girl. She starts to fast walk with the fish cooler. Then is like, fuck this, and drops the cooler and runs. Then she almost runs someone over and seems relieved and is like “Oh, it’s you. I thought…” and before she can finish the sentence, the person slices and dices her.

Cut to Quantico VA, Prentis and JJ are talking about Mick Rawson. Ew. Apparently, it’s a girl’s night out, because Garcia is also there, and she has presents for Henry. Also, Garcia is looking good. Their night out is interrupted by a call from Hotch, calling them back to the BAU. Prentis goes “Maybe I should get a cat” which becomes RELEVANT LATER.

Cut to BAU headquarters in Quantico VA, Rossi shows up in a full-on suit. JJ presents the case to the team. The Anchorage field office is calling them in for assistance, with a series of murders in Franklin Alaska. There are three people dead in less than a week. It’s their first murder investigation on record. The victims are random, there is a new victim every two days. There were also different kill methods and disposal methods.

The big takeaway from all of this is Garcia is coming on the jet! Because there is spotty wifi and cell service and Garcia needs to keep the team connected. We have a quick cut to the unsub, licking the bloody arrow that killed Brenda. What is this? Season 5, episode- “The Performer”??

Cut to the BAU jet. They’re talking organized/ disorganized. And Morgan is like- “Who cares? Let’s talk the evolution of the killer.” The first two victims were killed from a distance, but Brenda Bright was killed up close and person by having an arrow stabbed into her chest. Rossi calls Brenda “an attractive woman” and I’m like BARF.

It appears that the BAU have to take the private jet to another, smaller plane? We later learn this is a floatplane. Which pulls into the dock in Franklin? The BAU disembarks and meet Deputy Flack. Morgan and Prentis stay at this dock, as this is Brenda’s crime scene. The rest of the team meets Sherrif Rhodes who have them set up at Carol’s Tavern as the Franklin PD station is also a post office. Meanwhile, Morgan and Rossi meet with the local ME. The ME tells the BAU that the first victim John was peed on?? There are also marks on Brenda’s body, and Reid determines that the victim’s bodies have been played with post-mortem, so after they had already been killed.

Back at the docks, Deputy Flack walks Prentis and Morgan through the latest crime scene. She tells the BAU that they had to move things around and clean up the crime scene because there’s a rabid bear in the woods. But this also means that Brenda’s crime scene was contaminated and can’t be used for physical evidence. They also meet Craig Ramye, a local resident and fisherman, who tells them he is “getting the hell out of doge with his wife”.

Cut to- Carol’s Tavern. Garcia is setting up a control center and meets Josh Beardsley, Carol’s son. Garcia explains tech things to him.

Later, the BAU are all at Carol’s Tavern with Sherriff Rhodes looking pretty cozy by the fire. The BAU talks about a lot of the things we’ve already heard. The escalation, playing with the bodies, Rossi talks about how peeing is “marking” territory, a hunter’s trick which I guess means that the ubsub is a hunter? Sherriff Rhodes is going to institute a curfew. The BAU learns that there are only 4 hotel rooms available, so they’re going to have to share rooms. Morgan declares emphatically that he is NOT sharing a room with Reid. And Garcia is like- I’m going to share a room with Morgan.

Later, Garcia is running background checks on all the residents of Franklin. She calls her boyfriend Kevin, remember Kevin? And when he learns that she and Morgan are sharing a room he is FURIOUS. But Garcia tells Kevin that Morgan will be sleeping on the floor. Mid conversation the phone cuts out, and Garcia goes outside to see what happened to the connection.

So she goes outside, unarmed, and finds that the unsub has just murdered Craig, the man from earlier in the day who told the BAU he was leaving Franklin with his wife. Garcia makes a point of staying with Craig as he bleeds to death, reassuring him and telling him he’ll be okay. There’s an overhead shot of Garcia on the ground, and Craig has bled to death, and she looks up into the sky and screams for help, and her breasts look… phenomenal.

So Craig has literally been killed right outside of the tavern where the BAU is staying at. Reid looks at the body and believes the unsub has taken a piece of the body with him (EW EW EW). The BAU is also concerned because the unsub has escalated his timeline, and they still haven’t delivered a fucking profile. But CLEARLY the unsub went after Craig because he was vocal about leaving.

Inside the tavern, Morgan comforts Garcia and it is SO WHOLESOME. Garcia tells Morgan that the reason she stayed with Craig while he died was because when she was shot by James Colby Cheese, she thought she was going to die, and she had thought about how her murders face would be the last she saw. She did not want that fate for Craig. Morgan tries to press Garcia into a cognitive interview, and Garcia runs off.

Back outside with Craig’s body. The BAU is just… standing around. Morgan rejoins the team and they’re still just discussing. Prentis says that the first kill: “Was an accident. But it triggered a sexual response. He got off on it.” Then the BAU discusses consumption of human body parts of “consumption” which Reid tells us: “Consumption typically indicates a desire to keep the victim with them. He’s having trouble letting go. We’re probably looking for someone with severe abandonment issues.” Also, Prentis is wearing a cashmere WHITE TURTLENECK during the profile looking incredible.

PROFILE

  • We’re looking for an emotionally immature male, probably in his mid to late 20s who has suffered a traumatic loss.

    • Now this loss could be anything: death of a parent, separation of a spouse, a loved one who moved away.

    • Something that made the unsub feel abandoned and alone

  • He’ll have extensive hunting experience, the bodies were buried not because of remorse, they were buried to protect them from wild animals.

  • His familiarity with the victim’s routines suggests the unsub has lived here most of his life. He also has extensive knowledge of the landscape and surroundings.  

  • Focus on younger residents with history of petty crimes and assaults.

    • Look through their trash, fireplaces, even laundry

    • Look for signs of bloody clothes or even cuts and bruises. One of the victims may have got in a good blow or two.

  • Bring in anyone who seems to have something to hide. The unsub has already broken pattern.

Hotch and Sherriff Rhodes talk to one of the school administrators about local students. They ask if there were any students who tortured animals or played with animals before they were killed. She says that no one enjoyed hunting like Joshua Beardsley, who we know is the tavern owner’s son. Apparently, he is 23 and his father died recently, which is why he returned to town, to help his mother at her tavern.

So Rossi questions Joshua at the Franklin PD, even though supposedly they were not supposed to be set up there because it’s also the post office. But whatever. Joshua is COCKY. He tells Rossi about a “native hunting tradition” about “eating the life force of the prey”. He’s weird, but we’re only 23 minutes in so it might not be him.

Meanwhile, Prentis, Reid and JJ are going through Garcia’s preliminary profiles of everyone in the town. Garcia comes in, and starts defending Joshua. She tells the BAU categorically that the unsub is NOT Joshua. Because she specifically told him that she does not carry a gun, and the unsub ran away from her when she confronted him. If it was Joshua, he could have just overpowered her. Then tavern owner Carol aka Joshua’s mother shows up, and it’s awkward because they’re her guests but also they basically arrested her son. They say they just “brought him in for questioning” but like, they arrested him.

Carol talks to Rossi, Hotch and Sherriff Rhodes. She is like “Joshua is a good boy, he didn’t do this.” She wants him out of jail ASAP, and the BAU is like, well, we’re gonna keep him at the post office for one night, and if someone else dies, we’ll know he’s innocent. And I’m like- this is a terrible plan.

Cut back to Garcia and the gang. They start focusing on the abandonment issues side of the unsub’s profile. All four of the victims apparently were planning to move out of town. Garcia also finds another possible suspect, Kat Allen, a local waitress who recently accepted a position at a school. Morgan and Prentis show up to warn Kat Allen. Apparently Kat Allen is also pregnant. They take her into custody.

Back at the tavern, Carol goes home to her house and finds that the lights are out. She goes down to the basement to fuck with the fuse box, and she is murdered by the unsub. The BAU show up the next day, and talk about how this murder with Carol was personal. The unsub played with her intestines and rubbed blood on her face. So apparently Joshua is not the unsub, but now THE BAU HAS TO TELL HIM THAT HIS MOTHER WAS KILLED WHILE HE WAS IN CUSTODY. So if he had been home, HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SAVE HER.

Joshua is SO UPSET. And I’m upset. How did the BAU honestly think their plan would work??? Reid is like, “Joshua, I know you need time to mourn, but like, help us bud.” They push him, telling him the murders began when Joshua returned to town.  They also tell him when the going gets rough, the unsub will often go after the true target of their rage if they think the police are closing in. The BAU is like, this is PERSONAL. Do you know of anyone with severe abandonment issues?

And he’s like NOPE. Let me leave and go see my mother’s body. And Reid and Rossi realize that Joshua knows how the unsub is. Back at the tavern, the BAU, Sherriff and Deputy are pouring over Joshua and Carol’s lives, trying to see if they can find a connection. Then Rossi is like- oh wait, what about that rabid bear mangling animals? Actually psych it was a person. It’s the homicidal triad. The unsub is a YOUTH! He is a teenage boy.

So back at the fucking school, Hotch and Sherriff Rhodes ask that same teacher about teenage boys. And she’s like, naw I only have two teenage girls. And then Garcia finds Joshua’s college essay where he talked about how being a “big brother” is meaningful to him. And Joshua is an only child, so he must be talking about someone not blood related, someone Joshua mentored. So the teacher than tells the BAU about Owen Porter, who is now home schooled. Apparently he was abused by his father and isolated by his parents.

Cut to, the Porter house. Hotch, Reid, and Sherriff Rhodes burst in. Hotch is like “DID YOU KNOW?’ And Mr. Porter is like “DON’T TELL THEM ANYTHING” and Mrs. Porter is like : “WE KNEW. WE KNEW WHAT HE WAS! HE WAS NOT LIKE THE OTHER BOYS!” And Reid is like: “Why did you socially isolate him?” And she goes: “Because it was Covid and Faucci told us we had to!”

Back at the tavern that was Carol’s but I guess is now Joshua’s, Deputy Flack tells the BAU that Joshua shook his police tail, and now apparently is taking a hunting party into the woods to kill Owen Porter.

Cut to Owen Porter running through the woods with a riffle, pursued by Joshua’s hunting party, which is pursued by the BAU and the Franklin PD. Owen circles back towards town, and heads to the dock. The hunting party and BAU are in hot pursuit. Joshua gets to the dock, but the BAU are waiting for him, and then the hunting party arrives and are ready to kill Owen. It’s a stand off. Owen is like “You left and you didn’t come back” and Joshua is like “You’re being reasonable but I don’t care” and Reid is like “I’m terribly sorry for your loss” and then the rest of the BAU show up behind the hunting party. Rossi shoots Joshua, but in the arm, so he’s going to be fine. Owen is taken into custody. Morgan and Garcia have a moment. Morgan is like “you’re valuable and I’m proud of you.” It’s actually really sweet.

We end with Gillian Welch’s “Lovers Prayer”

Rating Criteria:

  • Criminal/Serial Killer: 5/20

  • Character development/ character arcs: 20/20

  • Forensics/Context: 7/20

  • Script writing: 10/20

  • Background characters: 13/20

Overall: 55/100

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S5E22 - “The Internet Is Forever”

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S5E20 - “A Thousand Words”