We open on a car driving in Beechwood New Jersey during a rainstorm. We see father and son Eric and Jack Fischer returning home from a movie. Jack swerves off the road when he sees a deer, and then has to pull over when they get a flat tire. Jack takes outa tire iron and begins attempting to fix the tire when he is attacked by a monster we can’t really see. The next morning a state trooper finds the car, Jack is still inside, traumatized clearly on some sort of drugs, and the state trooper finds.

Cut to BAU headquarters in Quantico Virginia. The BAU team is on the case. We learn that Mr. Fischer ingested a large amount of LSD. Six other victims ingested similar amounts. Each victim received 10-20x the usual dose, or as Goobs says “Enough to kill a small child.” One of the other victims, Gail Norman, is dead (she ran out on the road and was hit by a car, she was 78, what the fuck is with the BAU and killing grandparents constantly) and Brittany Cannon (9 years old, fell out of tree, fractured her skull- in a coma).

Profile - POISONER:

- 4 types of poisoners who target multiple victims

- The true believer- political terrorist OR religious cult

- Extortionist – product tamperer who holds a business hostage in exchange for money

- Prankster – usually a young offender who doesn’t mean any harm

- Avenger – person with a personal vendetta who uses poison as his method of murder

- The true believer, extortionist, and avenger usually first test the scheme out on a small scale before going after their real targets. So the BAU has to act fast

We meet Detective Hanover of the Beechwood PD. Hotch and Gideon meet with Jack Fischer to uncover more about the way he was dosed and how that could relate to the serial killer. Jack Fischer is currently in a psych ward. He asks Gideon “Shrink or cop” and Gideon says “a little bit of both”. We learn that Jack and Tyler’s mother are divorced and Jack is still upset about his ex-wife because she cheated on him. But Gideon believes that Jack would not have hurt his son had he not been drugged out of his mind with LSD believing his son was a monster. We also find that the victims were also drugged with rohypnol (date rape drug / amnesia). The BAU believe that the poisoner is a prankster- possibly a high school kid.

The team learns that the victims were likely all drugged at a café (4 out of the 6 victims were customers there). Nell Trucco (the owner of the café) advises the BAU to talk to one of her busboys Danny Wallace because he’s a high school kid. Danny skipped school and did not turn up to work. Elle visits Danny’s girlfriend Samantha DiForio who also skipped school. Elle notices that Samantha looks like a victim of domestic violence. Samantha reveals to Elle that she was drugged and doesn’t remember anything. Elle then spots Danny trying to drive away on his motorcycle. She arrests him and says “This isn’t what you had in mind when you skipped school today, huh Danny?” Elle and Detective Hanover interrogate Danny. Elle accuses him of drugging the café’s milk and attacking Samantha. Danny denies everything and MGG says: “seems too scared not to be telling us the truth”. So I guess he didn’t do it!

The BAU discuss possible motives and realize that the crime is actually so much more sophisticated then they first thought? Although they had that information to begin with? They decide the poisoner type is the “Avenger”.

Profile: POISONER – AVENGER

- Motivated by revenge

- Local resident

- Acts alone (or may have manipulated someone close to him who will likely be “disposed of”)

- Cautious, deliberate highly functioning male between the ages of 35-50

- Chose LSD for a reason- because he feels he has been misperceived by society

- Uses LSD + rohypnol to cover his tracks – intelligent.

- This attack was a “test run”

- Likely does not have a criminal record but has filled a civil lawsuit or criminal action on his true intended victim- possibly someone connected to the Café

There was a leak. Suzanne Whang the reporter DOES NOT NAME THE RESTAURANT!! The phones are RINGING!

JJ and Reid at the hospital trying to figure out which cases are potentially linked to the poisoner. Because people are panicking! Lynn Dempsey is the latest victim. However, she was not LSD/Rohypnol- she was poisoned with botulism. As she dies she goes “The en… the en…” and we’re all like “The End, bitch?” Botulism is the deadliest toxin known to man? Paralyzes victims and blocks acetylcoline receptors and chokes people to death. Without an anti toxin it will kill you in 36 hours. It is used in Botox???

Morgan and Elle realize that the Café was not the place that people were poisoned by just discussing it? They realize that it was First NJ Federal Bank across the street because one of the victims of the poisoner said he went there before the café? Morgan and Elle watch the security tapes – all of the victims 6/6 were at the bank. They think the bank candy was poisoned. Lynn Dempsey (recent victim) is seen on camera looking like she’s replacing the bank candies and possibly the poisoner?

We learn that Lynn Dempsey worked for Hitchcock Pharmaceuticals – the BAU think the unsub may have been fired from the company. Garcia can’t find anyone who was fired, but finds a list of 30 employees who were downsized and shipped off to lame companies. Now all of a sudden it’s a poisoner avenger who is a workplace killer???

Profile: WORK PLACE KILLER

- Don’t give themselves up

- Lost empathy and moral compass

- Will take out anybody to forward his cause

- Will likely to kill himself

- Stay close to their potential victims

Elle meets with the Office Manager at Hitchcock Pharmaceuticals. Nothing comes from this. We learn that Lynn Dempsey applied for a loan (at the bank from before) at the same time someone working at a sister company to Hitchcock Pharmaceuticals applied for a patent on “anti aging technology PCO-99”. Both the loan and patent were rejected because Hitchcock Pharmaceuticals had already applied for the patent! The unsub is Edward Hill! The BAU and NJ SWAT team swarm Eddy’s lab and take him into custody. And I guess he’s not a work place killer now? Back to an Avenger?

Nick has a vendetta about Hitchcock Pharmaceuticals. He says: “They took everything from me- fruits of my labor. Best years of my life. They took my family. And when there was nothing left to take- they took 2/3 of my salary and my health insurance.” Eddy confides to the BAU that he spiked the punch at a big office party that Hitchcock Pharmaceuticals is having. The BAU shows up and is like “don’t drink that”. Everyone is given the antitoxin and survives. Yay!

But MGG is like WAIT one of the original victims was diabetic and wouldn’t have taken the candy?? What is going on??? How did we get here? MGG discovers that Lynn Dempsey all poisons the deposit envelopes. As Lynn Dempsey was dying- THE ENVELOPES. So the punch is a decoy just like the candy??? Edward kills himself in the interrogation room. So the party was a decoy as well- only lower level staff were there. The BAU realizes that the Hitchcock corporate executives are the real targets- they’re out on a corporate retreat in the middle of the woods licking envelopes without their cell phones.

“Shut up and lick it Bob” The BAU shows up and saves the day.

“Before you embark on a journey of revenge – dig two graves”.

Rating criteria

Criminal/Serial Killer: 5/20
Character development/ character arcs: 5/20
Forensics/Context: 5/20
Script writing: 5/20
Background characters: 5/20

Overall: 25/100

S1E13 - “Poison”

S1E14 - “Riding The Lightning”

S1E12 - “What Fresh Hell?”